Lost

A couple of years ago I was bullied so badly at work that I had to take some time off. Or maybe I wasn’t bullied so badly, but reacted badly. And had to take some time off.

For all my worry about Sam, and all those worrying statistics about people with Down Syndrome being considerably, frighteningly more likely to be bullied, in the end, it happened to me. Not to my bolshie, pushy, couldn’t-care-less son.

And the worst of it is that, somewhere in that summer I lost my confidence. I have become a mouse in the workplace, jumping at imaginary cats. I don’t like it. Where did I go? Where did it go?

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10 thoughts on “Lost

  1. You write with such a confident voice, I can’t imagine you as a mouse in the workplace. Bullying can have such situation-specific consequences, though. I work with several young people each year who have experienced bullying at some time point in their school lives, and it has lasting effects on their student-personas, but in other areas – like at home or at work – they are often completely different.

    1. Yes, it’s a strange thing. I can be brash and confident within the safety of my computer screen, and with people who I am sure have my best interests at heart.

  2. I thought you showed a lot of confidence and quiet strength in your presentation for #NTENRED, Nancy – even though I know you said you were nervous beforehand. (Everyone is, but the brave ones feel the fear and do it anyway!)

    Hope you feel your confidence is building again, but I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through this.

    1. (although I suspect it isn’t the working with privileged kids that makes the difference – it’s working with supportive staff and leaders….)

      1. Yes. IME even the nicest kids will challenge your authority if they see that there is ‘trouble at the top’, if you see what I mean.

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